


Got Milk?

by supergreak



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Food Sex, M/M, Peanut Butter, Romance, Same-Sex Marriage, Sexual Content, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-12
Updated: 2010-09-12
Packaged: 2017-10-11 17:25:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/114818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergreak/pseuds/supergreak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That Potter kid was strange.  Very strange.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Got Milk?

That Potter kid was very strange. He plopped down at the Gryffindor table next to Scorpius, nonchalantly grabbing a banana from the middle of the table and peeling it, singing something that sounded like "another one bites the dust." He grabbed the jar of peanut butter from the middle of the table and used his knife to spread it liberally over the banana before taking a large bite. Finally noticing Scorpius giving him strange looks, he shrugged at the other first-year.

 

Scorpius, for all of his best-friend-in-the-universe attributes, was a very strange bloke. Al considered him as he was sitting at breakfast, first day of the new term, licking his peanut-butter-on-a-banana. Same breakfast he'd had all five years they'd known each other. Scorpius, instead of saying _hi_ or _what's up_ or _pass the marmalade_ , was sitting there with his mouth wide open, staring at something in Al's vicinity.

"What, did I get peanut butter on my nose, or something?" Al asked, before swirling his tongue around the tip of the banana one last time and popping the entire thing into his mouth to take an enormous bite. Chewing and swallowing, he threw the banana peel at Scorpius. "Snap out of it, mate. What's wrong?"

 

Boys were strange. Very strange. That was the only coherent thought appearing in Rose's head as she stood, unable to move, watching the two seventh-years in the deserted classroom. Scorpius was perched on the edge of a desk, and Al was kneeling, enthusiastically licking and sucking on Scorpius' cock. That wasn't the strange part. She'd walked in on them once before during her Head Girl rounds, and everyone and their Aunt Irma knew they were together. No, the strange thing was the jar of Sunpat, Extra Creamy, lying on the floor, with two spoons stuck in it. And the smears of peanut butter, licked but never fully off, on Scorpius' chest. And Al's face. And, great Merlin, was Al dipping his hand in again?!

 

Ginny knows that her son is, well, strange. She wasn't talking about the fact that he was marrying a young man. Or a Malfoy. She'd long since reconciled herself to those facts. No, the facet of his life she considered strange was observed at their combined bachelor party/wedding shower/board game night. She was writing down the gifts they'd received from various people. They'd received a plethora of sex toy, clothes, and unmarked items, including the box marked "DO NOT OPEN IN FRONT OF MY SISTER" from Charlie.

Again, not shocking.

But when she saw them open jar after jar of peanut butter, in every variety, from at least twenty different people, including James and Lily, she just had to ask. "Harry!" She whispered, “What's with all the peanut butter? Al has a good job; he can afford to eat. Why do these people keep on giving him peanut butter? "

Harry blushed and ducked his head. "See, erm, well, you know, Al has this thing, well, it's really not our business, but well…"

Rose came to the rescue. "Aunt Gin, just look!" She pointed to where Albus had opened one of the jars, and was busy licking Scorpius' finger, holding his hand and looking him in the eyes. That was…ahem. Ginny turned back to her husband. "So, you were telling me about the Tornados!”

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I do not own the characters, the school of Hogwarts, or Sunpat peanut butter.
> 
> P.P.S. Some international readers were confused about the title. The phrase "Got Milk?" for the title was inspired by decades of American milk commercials featuring characters eating peanut butter, getting sticky mouths with no milk to wash it down. They're all on youtube.


End file.
